Divorce is never a fun situation. Honestly, you don’t ever really know how you are going to react until it happens. I went through a divorce about 7 years ago and it really turned my world upside down. Some of these ideas might seem like common sense, but let me tell you when you are in the midst of a divorce, sometimes, common sense is the first thing to fly out the window. Here are 9 ways to cope with divorce.
9 Ways To Cope With Divorce
Find Someone To Talk To
This could be anyone that you find a sense of comfort with. Maybe a friend, family member, co-worker, preacher, etc…but remember this person needs to be someone who will listen, not stir the pot or say things to make the situation more confrontational. Just listen. I was lucky to have found a friend in college that had gone through a divorce.
Give Yourself Time
Divorce is a loss and just like any other loss, you need time to grieve and move forward. Don’t rush yourself or the feelings that you are feeling. Feel everything.
Take Care Of Your Physical Health
- Eat healthily
- Get enough sleep
- Try not to overuse substances
I joined a gym and it was such a great outlet for all my emotions. It gave me somewhere to put my anger and heartbreak, with the added bonus of taking care of my body.
Make Time For Yourself
Reconnect with things you enjoy doing. Is there something you have always felt like doing? Invest time in your hobbies, volunteer, and take time to enjoy life and make new friends. This was huge for me. I enjoyed getting to meet new people and do things for myself, on my own. Take a lot of bubble baths, pick up that book you always wanted to read, do anything to make yourself smile.
Realize That Your Emotions Will Be All Over The Place
It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused, sometimes I felt all these emotions in a matter of minutes. Writing/journaling helped with this part of the healing process. I tried to write everything down, every emotion I felt, and I even wrote about the moments where I didn’t feel anything.
Maintain Stability And Routines
This is so important if you have children. Children need a sense of normalcy. I didn’t have children with my ex, but I still found this to be very beneficial to me. I tried to fight it at first, I tried to run away from all my responsibilities, but they followed me. Once I found a good, solid job and kept to a normal routine of work, gym, home, etc…I started to slowly feel better. It was nice to know what was coming.
Ask For Help
Do not feel like you can’t ask for help or that it would mean admitting failure if you asked for help. Create a list of people that you know that you can depend on. This is huge if you have children. Don’t be afraid to admit you need a little extra help.
Change Your Way Of Thinking
I started a gratitude journal about 3 months after my divorce was finalized. Shifting my way of thinking from focusing on what I lost to focusing on the blessings I had was a huge turning point for me.
Laugh when you can. It is so much better than crying. This is why I am so happy that I wrote down my story because I can laugh about it now.
I think these 9 ways to cope with divorce are great ideas, and they personally worked for me, but the truth is we all deal with grief differently. Something that worked for me, might not work for you. The key is to never give up and never stop looking for what works. I wish you the best of luck, and you really will get through this.
For more on divorce:
9 Signs You Are Ready To Start Dating After Divorce
“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Divorce is devistating. I sometimes believe that dealing with death might actually easier…you don’t have to worry about running into them around every corner if you live in a small town.
Yes. I have thought that too.
Raven Black says
I am so happy that divorce is much easier here where I live.
If you want to be divorced, you go online, fill out some papers using your digital ID.
20 min later you get an email with a link to click, and then you pay a small fee and you receive the divorce papers.
Divorce is never easy, and I’m happy you had family there to support you.
Thank you! It is definitely not that easy here!
Alexis H. says
Divorce is a terrible thing to go through under certain situations. I am sorry you had to experience this. These are, however, great pieces of advice for those who are going down this very path now or for those know someone in this situation! Stay positive and know that you are amazing <3
Thank you. My divorce was almost 8 years ago and it still holds weight for the person I am today. I recently had someone close to me go through divorce and I thought this was worth a share. Thank you for your kind words. <3
Witte's World Travel, Food, and Life Blog says
I am sorry you had to go through this, but you are much stronger for that experience. I wish I had a mom like yours, you are lucky.
Yes. Thank you. I am very blessed with my Mama.
Sarah | Digital Motherhood says
I’m pleased that you can look back and laugh now, not an easy thing for anyone to go through. #KCACOLS
Veronica Lee says
Thank you for sharing. So sorry you had to go through this.
Many of my friends shared that divorce has made them stronger people than they could ever imagine.
I do agree with your friends. I do think it has made me stronger and given me a different outlook on marriage. Thanks for commenting!
Sheila Yale says
This is a difficult subject to talk about but I’m glad you shared some ways to deal with it. I’ve been through it twice and neither time was anything I want to go through again. #KCOCALS
Yes. It is not something I would wish upon anyone, but I do believe things happen for a reason. If this hadn’t of happened I wouldn’t have met my husband and had my boys. <3
Coombe Mill says
What a mature and well thought out list, it could only be written by someone in the know. #KCACOLS
Great post. I’m in the early stages of this and hope to keep the “versus” part to a minimum. We both seem pretty dedicated to putting our daughter first so that should help quite a bit #KCACOLS
I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is not something I would ever wish upon anyone. I wish you the best of luck and I am so glad you are both trying to work together and put your daughter first. Thanks for commenting.
Lisa Pomerantz says
Been there. I was married for 12 years, to a man. It was hard, devastating and liberating all at the same time. I remember the court date quite well. Versus… what an odd choice indeed, Lana! I do hope you are well and thank you for sharing this with us all! You rock! #KCACOLS xo
You are so right! It’s so many emotions all at one time. It’s something I’ll never forget, but grateful it happened or I wouldn’t have my two little boys. Everything happens for a reason, sometimes you just have to wait awhile to see it. ❤️
Lisa Pomerantz says
I’m waiting for a big Ah-ha moment to come clear very soon. Thank you, Lana. 😘✨
Divorce is a massive change and really emotional to get through. You have some brilliant tips to help people going through this difficult time X #kcacols
Thank you! Yes, it is a huge change. Thanks for commenting! 🙂
Sorry you had to go through this, but by sharing your tips you are definitely helping lots of others! #KCACOLS
Thank you! 🙂
I remember my mum and dad going through their divorce vaguely, I’ve blocked it out to be honest. I was a teen going through my GCSE’s. I reacted badly and made my mum suffer more than she should of. I will always feel guilty for not being more supportive. I don’t know how my mum coped. #KCACOLS
I am so sorry. I know that must have been difficult. I went through this one in 2011 and my mom and dad just divorced this year after 29 years of marriage. I think seeing their split was almost harder than mine.
Madeline (This Glorious Life) says
There is some really brilliant advice here that hopefully will help people going through the same thing. x #KCACOLS
Thank you so much! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
These tips are fantastic. I can’t imagine what you went through but you’ve come out of it beautifully. Sharing your story to help others is so selfless and kind *big hugs to you* #KCACOLS
Thank you so much for your kind words! I really appreciate it. It reminds me why I do what I do! 🙂
Lydia C. Lee says
These are great tips. For a lot of people, it’s like being hit by a truck and their life is blown apart and they have to rebuild everything. But the rest of the world moves on quickly because there’s no visible wounds. #KCACOLS
Peachy & Clementine says
Divorce must be hard to deal with. But it all turned out well for you in the end. That seems to be the general consensus from divorced people that I know. After a few years they all feel it was a blessing in disguise. I enjoyed co hosting #CKACOLS with you. I’m sure I’ll see you around.