Divorce is never a fun situation. Honestly, you don’t ever really know how you are going to react until it happens. I went through a divorce about 7 years ago and it really turned my world upside down. Some of these ideas might seem like common sense, but let me tell you when you are in the midst of a divorce, sometimes, common sense is the first thing to fly out the window. Here are 9 ways to cope with divorce.
9 Ways To Cope With Divorce
Find Someone To Talk To
This could be anyone that you find a sense of comfort with. Maybe a friend, family member, co-worker, preacher, etc…but remember this person needs to be someone who will listen, not stir the pot or say things to make the situation more confrontational. Just listen. I was lucky to have found a friend in college that had gone through a divorce.
Give Yourself Time
Divorce is a loss and just like any other loss, you need time to grieve and move forward. Don’t rush yourself or the feelings that you are feeling. Feel everything.
Take Care Of Your Physical Health
- Eat healthily
- Get enough sleep
- Try not to overuse substances
I joined a gym and it was such a great outlet for all my emotions. It gave me somewhere to put my anger and heartbreak, with the added bonus of taking care of my body.
Make Time For Yourself
Reconnect with things you enjoy doing. Is there something you have always felt like doing? Invest time in your hobbies, volunteer, and take time to enjoy life and make new friends. This was huge for me. I enjoyed getting to meet new people and do things for myself, on my own. Take a lot of bubble baths, pick up that book you always wanted to read, do anything to make yourself smile.
Realize That Your Emotions Will Be All Over The Place
It’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused, sometimes I felt all these emotions in a matter of minutes. Writing/journaling helped with this part of the healing process. I tried to write everything down, every emotion I felt, and I even wrote about the moments where I didn’t feel anything.
Maintain Stability And Routines
This is so important if you have children. Children need a sense of normalcy. I didn’t have children with my ex, but I still found this to be very beneficial to me. I tried to fight it at first, I tried to run away from all my responsibilities, but they followed me. Once I found a good, solid job and kept to a normal routine of work, gym, home, etc…I started to slowly feel better. It was nice to know what was coming.
Ask For Help
Do not feel like you can’t ask for help or that it would mean admitting failure if you asked for help. Create a list of people that you know that you can depend on. This is huge if you have children. Don’t be afraid to admit you need a little extra help.
Change Your Way Of Thinking
I started a gratitude journal about 3 months after my divorce was finalized. Shifting my way of thinking from focusing on what I lost to focusing on the blessings I had was a huge turning point for me.
Laugh when you can. It is so much better than crying. This is why I am so happy that I wrote down my story because I can laugh about it now.
I think these 9 ways to cope with divorce are great ideas, and they personally worked for me, but the truth is we all deal with grief differently. Something that worked for me, might not work for you. The key is to never give up and never stop looking for what works. I wish you the best of luck, and you really will get through this.
For more on divorce:
9 Signs You Are Ready To Start Dating After Divorce
“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31